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Parshat Tazria/Parshat HaChodesh/Rosh Chodesh                               April 6, 2019  1 Nisan, 5779
               TORAH -  6 ALIYOT                  Rabbi Sacks on Parshat Tazria
                ARTSCROLL  608
                   HERTZ  460          From time to time couples   Centre for Stammering in   within each home, an
                                       come to see me before   London, and she had a unique   atmosphere of mutual respect
                                       their wedding. Sometimes
              TORAH - 7TH ALIYAH                                     approach to her work. Most   and continuous positive
                                                               speech therapists focus on
                                                                                           reinforcement. She believed
                                       they ask me whether I
                ARTSCROLL  890         have any advice to give   speaking and breathing    that this would generate self-
                   HERTZ   695         them as to how to make   techniques, and on the individual  confidence not just for the
                                       their marriage strong. In   child (those she worked with   stammering child but for all
                                       reply I give them a simple
                     MAFTIR                                      were on average around five   members of the family. The
                ARTSCROLL  348         suggestion. It is almost   years old). Lena did more. She   result would be an
                                       magical in its effects. It will  focused on relationships, and
                                                                                           environment in which people
                   HERTZ   253         make their relationship   worked with parents, not just   felt safe to change and to
                                       strong and in other     children. Her view was that to   help others do so likewise. I
                   HAFTORAH                                      cure a stammer, she had to do   filmed Lena’s work for a
                                       unexpected ways it will
               ARTSCROLL  1218         transform their lives. They  more than help the child to   documentary I made for BBC
                  HERTZ   1001         have to commit          speak fluently. She had to   television on the state of the
                                       themselves to the following  change the entire family   family in Britain. I also
                                       ritual. Once a day, usually
                    Aufruf                                                     environment. Families tend to   interviewed some of the
                                       at the end of the day, they  create an equilibrium. If a child
                       of                                                                  parents whose children she
                                                                                           had worked with. When I
                                       must each praise the other  stammers, everyone in the
                Kalman Honig           for something the other   family adjusts to it. Therefore, if   asked them whether Lena had
                     Times             has done that day, no   the child is to lose its stammer,   helped their child, not only
                                                               all the relationships within the
                                                                                           did each of them say ‘Yes’ but
                                       matter how small: an act,
                                       a word, a gesture that was  family will have to be   they went on to say that she
           Mincha               7:00 pm   kind or sensitive or   renegotiated. Not only must the   had helped save their
           Candle Lighting      7:05 pm   generous or thoughtful.   child change. So must everyone   marriage. This was
                                       The praise must be focused  else. But change at that basic   extraordinary. She was, after
           Hashkama             8:00 am
                                       on that one act, not    level is hard. We tend to settle   all, not a marriage guidance
           Youth Minyan         8:30 am   generalized. It must be   into patterns of behavior until   counsellor but a speech
                                       genuine: it must come   they become comfortable like a   therapist. Yet so powerful was
           Parsha Shiur         8:30 am
                                       from the heart. And the   well-worn armchair. How do you  this one simple ritual that it
           Main                 9:00 am   other must learn to accept  create an atmosphere within a   had massive beneficial side
           Beit Midrash         9:15 am   the praise. That is all they   family that encourages change   effects, one of which was to
                                       have to do. It takes at   and makes it unthreatening? The  transform the relationship
           Gemara Shiur         6:00 pm   most a minute or two. But   answer, Lena discovered, was   between husbands and wives.
                                       it has to be done, not   praise. She told the families with
           Mincha               7:00 pm                                                    I mention this for two
                                       sometimes, but every day.  which she was working that
           Shabbat Ends         8:14 pm   I learned this in a most   every day they must catch each   reasons, one obvious, the
                                                                                           other less so. The obvious
           R’ Reisman Video    10:00 pm   unexpected way.      member of the family doing   reason is that the sages were
                                                               something right, and say so,
           Sun. April 7      7:30/8:30 am   I have written before about   specifically, positively and   puzzled about the major
                                       the late Lena Rustin: one   sincerely. Every member of the   theme of Tazria-Metzora, the
           Mon. & Thurs.     6:35/7:45 am   of the most remarkable   family, but especially the   skin disease known as
           Tue., Wed. & Fri.    6:45/7:45 am   people I have ever met.   parents, had to learn to give and   tsaraat. Why, they wondered,
           Mincha               7:10 pm   She was a speech therapist   receive praise.     should the Torah focus at
                                       specializing in helping                             such length on such a
                   Latest Times for    stammering children. She   Watching her at work I began to  condition? It is, after all, not
                Shema/Shemoneh Esrei   founded the Michael Palin   realize that she was creating,   a book of medicine, but of
           April 6          9:44/10:48 am                            Bima Flowers are sponsored by
           April 13         9:37/10:43 am   Kiddush                       Elaine & Albert Miller
                    Next Shabbat        is provided by         in memory of her mother Ethel Rose Grant
               Metzorah/Shabbat HaGadol   Great Neck                and by Myra Honig & Murray Honig
           Mincha               7:00 pm   Synagogue
                                                             in honor of the upcoming marriage of their son
           Candle Lighting      7:13 pm                                  Kalman to Debbie Nehmad
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